The Enigma Called Friendship
This is something I have been grappling with for aeons. And a long talk with Rai today and his analysis of me as a person, has set me thinking.
Why is it that I tend to like someone instantaneoulsy, while at the same time tend to view everybody else negatively? There have been loads of instances when people have been nice to me but I have never wanted to be friends with them. At times people have been rude to me, or have not replied properly....but I have still gone ahead and taken steps to ensure that our acquaintance crystallizes into friendship.
People from my engineering college, the ones I spent the entire day with- I have no clue where they are today. And yup, i did consider them to be good friends. But others, my classmate whom I hardly went out with, my junior who I interacted with mainly during the bus journey....today they are close friends. And all this when I am miles away in Gurgaon.
Why did this happen? Did I never like those people in the first place? Or have I ceased to like them as time went by? And what about the others.....is it that subconscioulsy I did care a lot about them, and just that its now that I am actually expressing it?
Loads of questions,but no answers....Rai lays it down to the fact that at times I go the extra mile to forge a relationship. The key here is - at times
rgds
ronnie
Why is it that I tend to like someone instantaneoulsy, while at the same time tend to view everybody else negatively? There have been loads of instances when people have been nice to me but I have never wanted to be friends with them. At times people have been rude to me, or have not replied properly....but I have still gone ahead and taken steps to ensure that our acquaintance crystallizes into friendship.
People from my engineering college, the ones I spent the entire day with- I have no clue where they are today. And yup, i did consider them to be good friends. But others, my classmate whom I hardly went out with, my junior who I interacted with mainly during the bus journey....today they are close friends. And all this when I am miles away in Gurgaon.
Why did this happen? Did I never like those people in the first place? Or have I ceased to like them as time went by? And what about the others.....is it that subconscioulsy I did care a lot about them, and just that its now that I am actually expressing it?
Loads of questions,but no answers....Rai lays it down to the fact that at times I go the extra mile to forge a relationship. The key here is - at times
rgds
ronnie
posted by ronnie @ Monday, November 14, 2005
3 Comments:
At 1:31 AM,
WithoutMe said…
Hi! Anuj here! Nice one... btw, who is this Rai guy? Seems to be an interesting guy??
At 10:29 PM,
devilcharmer said…
Pal
Its great that a lot of the beneficiaries of your benevolent approach formula are girls.
Just kidding... make sure you don't miss out on some great people whom you could very well do being friends with
tcare
At 2:07 PM,
Naresh Bharadwaj said…
Hi..
First of all, good work and best of luck for ur blogging venture..
Friendships.. I always thought it occurs at two levels. One at the emotional and the other primarily functional. Our school pals, ur engg. college buddies with whom u can connect today just as easily as u used to when u were close to them, with them, are attached to us emotionally. We needn't keep promises, make a call, buy gifts just to stay in touch or sustain the relationship. That perhaps explains our leniency or even laziness to keep in touch with them i.e. we tend to remember them when we need emotional succour. These friendships usually survive our moody dispositions.
And the other kind that u've highlighted - where we try to deliberately engineer friendships is when we percieve some profit from the endeavour (in the figurative sense, of course!). We seek social acceptance, material benefits etc. All of this is not entirely conscious. It is just a product of the hidden bigot in us.
All said, the previous comment summarizes it best when it urges us not to miss out ppl whom you could very well do being friends with..
Sorry for the longish comment!
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